Tempation

The cologne in the dimly lit room is overpowering. The decor is less than modern, wood paneling covers the walls, blue lights are set on tables, the chairs sink in with wear. The only real light comes from sky high windows in the ceiling. It sets the mood.

Everyone is in their Sunday best. Here to impress.

I shift my feet and look down at my 4 inch heels. I cross and uncross my long legs with anxiousness.

The room holds a surplus of men.

There are those who are desperate. They sit or stand. Their palms involuntarily sweat. They don't notice they've crossed their arms defensively nor that their feet are tapping to no beat as their eyes dart constantly to their competition.

Then there are those with confidence. Stiff collars, tailored suits, platinum buttons quietly say "I'm better than you." Their shoes soles are worn but the leather shines like new. They've been here before, they know the game. Their booming voices speak volumes compared to what they are actually saying.

I am attracted to one. His strong jaw and tanned tattooed skin catches my eye. His broad shoulders are complimented by his button up. My eyes trace down his body and I see he's wearing Vans. I like to think this combination tells me more about who he really is. I finally give him a smile when our eyes meet. We've been awkwardly avoiding each others' gaze since our first eye contact.

The atmosphere is tense and yet relaxed. There are old friends here. Their laughs and smirks tell me they are here just for a good time. The mix of confidence and ignorance ... good and bad ... charm and retraction amuses me.

And yet we are all here for the same reason. I too cannot stop fidgeting or my racing heart. Here in this room we all have the same desires, fears, wants, needs.

Each man approaches the woman the same. As though she controls their fate ... she holds the key to happiness. I envy her confidence and blunt conversation. Even she too makes me nervous.

The banter and small talk continues ... my time is up ... I can no longer sit wait and watch .. it's time for action.

I stand up slowly, fixing my outfit, flipping my hair trying to calm my heart beat. Oh how I wish I was better at this. I approach my target ... my mind racing ... it shouldn't be ... something like this really isn't that hard. All of my anticipation is going to be over in a matter of seconds ... words.

"What do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

With a quick exchange between the judge and my lawyer it is over. I am done.

I'll be back soon.