Part II : Drive Drunk : Get Fucked.

You always hear this but I'm not going to be creative and use my writing skills because well this statement is true-It all happened so fast.


The glow of my cell phone fade after sending my friend a text. Looking down for somewhere to put my phone. My head whipping forward my body being jerked back by my seat belt. The unmistakable crunch of my car against another. My adrenaline pulsing, pumping.

Then everything slowed down, I left my body and watched myself come to the realization of what just happened. My hands shaking uncontrollably as I turned the keys. Crying, screaming, “Shit. Shit. Shit,” as the engine failed to start. This is really fucking happening. Right now. You just totaled your car. Oh God and you’re drunk.

Fuck.

PAUSE. Now, to address those of you assholes who are about to shake your head at me and my stupidity, my ignorance and my actions in what follows-SHUTTHEFUCKUP. I know I shouldn’t blow in the field, admit to drinking and driving, so crying in front of the officer. But if we are going that route you might as well throw in, I shouldn’t have driven. I shouldn’t have drank. I shouldn’t have called my ex. I shouldn’t have chugged vodka. BUT I FUCKING DID. Hence why there’s a story to be told. There are a million things I SHOULDN’T have done but this is what I did. So save it, because let me tell you, there wasn’t an hour for about 6 months that I didn’t think those thoughts myself.
PLAY.

Back to me ruining my life.

I hopped out of the car and ran home. THAT is how close I was. I barged through the door. Yelling at my parents the news they never want to hear. “I crashed Pearl-I’ve been drinking-mom HELP.”

My dad made a very valid point for it being roused, no jolted awake, at 1:30 am, “you left the scene of the accident?”

Oh. Shit. Yes, yes Dad it looks like I did.

I ran down my hill rounded the corner to the accident and knocked on the truck owner’s door. Telling him what I’d done. To my surprise he goes “Again?” My smart ass wants to say “No, no sir, this is the first time I’ve done this.” What he really meant was that this has happened before, since he’s an idiot that parks on a corner on a narrow road that’s lined on either side with cars – or not wait, if we are talking about idiots, I may have this one in the bag.

It gets blurry.

The cops came. The lights flashed way too bright for my liking. The cop was an ass. He was condescending and as my parents watched from the opposite side of the street he talked to his intern kid as though I wasn’t there. I remember walking that invisible line, the flash light in my eyes and my mom across the street with her hands to her face, horrified.

I got cuffed, put in the back of the car, because while I failed the tests, I succeeded in being caught drunk driving.

I blew once in the field .15, then at the station a .122 … that’s a ‘low blow’ 1.5 is a ‘high blow.’

My parents picked me up at around 3 AM, we drove past my car on the way to our house.

That was the first of many times that I’d get to pass the spot where my life changed forever. And for the past 10 months I have had to walk up onto the sidewalk that my car went up onto that fateful night.

That street is the quickest way to get to the bus and my gym.

Oh the irony.