Do It With A Smile Damnit

I'm calmer today.

Note to self, being angry, being sad, well any emotion, it passes. What you feel right now you probably won't feel tomorrow, nor will you remember it.  I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday or specifically why work upset me. This helps reinforce living in the present. If you live for right now doing  whatever it is you have to do right then and do it the best you can with a smile really it makes life so simple.

And yet I can't quite get this—guess I'm human.

Yesterday the jiggle of my thighs and my stomach growling overpowered everything else. It caused me anger for gaining weight and losing control and yet my fat ass was still hungry? It doesn't deserve food. This went through my head nonstop and it darked my day which was great if I really think about it. Work was tough but no one died. It was sunny. I had a killer work out. I got invited to go see Yeasayer…Yeasayers? I should probably learn that before Thursday's concert that I'm going to with coworkers. I had some laughs with some awesome people I get paid to work with. I got to see this charming old guy. Had texts and phone calls from people that are thinking about me. And my granny had a good day = Totes a good day.

I think this is why I like music and dancing so much. It makes me feel more present and alive than anything else. All your senses are awake and you can just get lost in the music. It's a great way to escape while as I said being present. Maybe this is why I spent $90 for Freaknight, when I really can't afford it. I mean treatment is $2,000. AND I'm not getting paid while away. Ouch.

BTW I go in September 10. Fack.

Anyway, what I'm trying to approach today with and hopefully after it becomes a habit, my life with, is to take it easy on myself. I am human. I make mistakes and I am not perfect. Live for today and for making others smile. Realize what you have not what you don't.

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