What I Learned In Church Today

Today was day numero dos for going to church.

I actually dressed a little nicer this time because my leggings and I got some not-so-approving looks the first Sunday I went.

Today the theme of the sermon was FORGIVENESS.

Whoa talk about timing on that one ... I didn't realize how much I had been holding onto negatives and people in my life until this morning. When you don't forgive you are the one oppressed ... you are the one filled with hate or anger or sadness and ironically the person/thing/event that caused your resentment or what have you is not in as much turmoil as you are because not being able to forgive is all in your head. The minutes hours days thoughts are all lost time when you don't forgive.

Yes you probably already know this .... at least that's what I was saying in my head to Pastor Paul when he was talking ... but HOW DO YOU FORGIVE? It'd be nice to just shake hands and be on your merry way. Or just drop off the stains and dirt you have in your life at the cleaners and pick em up the next day good as new (with that fresh laundry scent)...BUT IT DONWERKDAT WAY!

So of course he answered my question immediately after my mind began to race and distract me from the sermon ... and what he said was ....

When you are limited, you've fallen and you just don't have it in you to move on ... God can.

LIGHT BULB!

When Jesus was on the cross in the place of the skull he said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know that they are doing." Jesus forgave us for our sins. That power and love is still something I don't understand or can begin to explain but it's nice to know it's there.

I realized this message means I need to not only forgive others but I need to forgive myself. I need to forgive myself for not being perfect, for not being where I want to be in life, or who I want to be in life. I need to tell my high power that I cannot handle this on my own. I do not know how to forgive myself...or the right steps to take in order to better myself so please help me.

And that's all the sense I can make out of that.
<3