Remember It Could Be Worse

I'm getting sick...I have the shivers the aches the chills...the foggy head (or maybe that's just normal for me on a Friday).

My grandma is in surgery right now.

I'm single once again.

I have to work at 6:30 am ON A SATURDAY!

My life was looking pretty miserable...until...I started reading about the tsunami in Japan.

Once night fell in Tokyo the temperatures dropped to just above freezing. Tens of thousands of people had no way of getting to where they needed to go, if they still had a place to go to.

There are shelters for the survivors but most are staying in 24 hours cafes or hotels.

When something is wrong the first place I want to go to is home...to my bed...with my cats. These people who just experienced the fifth largest earthquake since 1900 don't have the luxury to worry about their dating life or when they'll get to the gym next.

My strife over the way my life has gone this week is a waste of my time. The energy spent crying, worrying, analysing has done nothing for me or others.

So as I sit here curled up as close as possible to my desk heater I am reminded of how big the world is, how small I am. I wish I could remember to practice this humility daily...

However I am not trying to be miss Negative Nancy here. Who likes her? My life is as important as I make it. Every day I make small and big decisions that have a domino effect.

This is an example of one of those small decisions that has a big impact.

Last summer I took a chance and dated this guy who was not my type. He's short, in his 30s, chews and is into MMA ... but his personality was what attracted me. We dated for a pathetic 3 weeks maybe? He was the first guy that I didn't know that hit on me that I actually went out with. Our first date was to a Mariner's game ... I had an extra ticket ... he played softball ... why not? Anyway...after a couple dates he told me he was a recovering alcoholic...sober 9 years. We talked about AA and living with a disease one day at a time. My disease is not with booze but with my body. I've been going to Over Eaters Anonymous for 6 months now and it's changed my life. That's all thanks to my decision to take a chance.

Crazy huh?

Or the other day I picked a random building to use the restroom in on Microsoft's INSANELY HUGE campus. I grabbed up a free magazine to read on the bus in that building. In the reading it had an article about meditation ... something I had been contemplating. It was as though my higher power was present nudging me to find that magazine, to see an alternative way to control my disease.

Ever since I started OA I realized that God is in my life and I keep seeing him come through and talk to me. It's Awesome. Yes with a capital A. I am no longer alone..

Wow writing this has been much harder than it should be. I am incredibly out of practice. It's frustrating to know what I want to say and not be able to get my point across in the funny light hearted sarcastic clever manner I want to...guess I'll just have to do this more often.

It's intimidating to know I'm writing something that others can see and judge...I'm so used to writing in a journal where spelling, grammar, content don't matter. There my thoughts are my own and only for me to read. The power of journaling is amazing though, it's like my brain is talking through the pen and paper.

Hmmm I went from a terrible disaster to journaling...oh and last thing is I'm not sure the point of this blog...but I want to write and be a good writer (like I once was) so I guess this is where I'll start.

Kris