Well...That Was Awkward.

A day in the life of me.

So as long as I'm being honest, I thought I'd show you a glimpse into what my daily life looks like. No worries I won't tell you like when I wake up or what I eat for lunch (5:52 am turkey and cheese sammy) but I mean like the ridiculous shit I do.

I have the most fun sharing random stories like these with my best friends, makes me feel more normal and laughing at their expense is awesome.

So in hopes to entertain you, make you feel less lame (not that you are lame…shoot this may confirm that I am as odd as I thought I was) here are random things that happened to me yesterday (that yes, I kept track of).

What inspired this was the fact that I took a bite of a scrumptious apple and drooled all over my front, of course someone from tech walked by as I make a huge slurping noise…

Then I continued to eat my juicy apple and realized I attempted to eat the sticker because I practically choked on it.

On my way to the bathroom later I just forgot how doors worked and didn't fully open it before attempting to go through it.

When in the bathroom I couldn't get the stupid toilet set covers out so I ended up with like 15 and couldn't figure out what to do with them all so I attempted to put them back in unsuccessfully. I ended up hanging them on the door in hopes someone else would use them.

Another time in the bathroom again, I was so out of it I washed my hands then hit the soap dispenser instead of going for the paper towels. Luckily the other girl in there found this as hilarious as I did.

At my desk I snorted loudly when seeing this image for a sale I was writing.



It's currently my background.

An attractive male coworker told me my voice made me sound like a tranny.

When going down the stairs to head out on my walk I was dancing / rapping to Missy Elliott's 1 2 Step. Didn't know I had an audience until I was face to face with two people coming back from lunch and awkwardly made my quiet singing into a loud cough.

On my walk to my bus my umbrella wouldn't close and I found myself talking to it…ok well yelling at it to "fucking shut you stupid piece of shit" as I walked passed a homeless man…also angry at the world.

I got honked at by a bus when on the corner of the street because I guess he thought I was trying to run out in front of it? The homeless man next to me politely said "Don't worry you'd still be pretty if you got hit by a bus." WHY THANK YOU.

And to end my night I was at Fred Meyer, until closing. I was the last maniac running around the aisles trying to find puff paint. I was joined by a very elderly man in the check out line griping about how much his pumpkin pie cost.

Welcome to my life.