Ass Grabber

A year ago yesterday I met ChaCha.
I remember the day so well because it was the last Saturday I went out before going to treatment at The Moore Center (for eating disorders).
I'd like to tell you about how we met:

I was hung over from the night before and drinking a mimosa while watching the Seahawks game with some friends. I had invited some dude from the night before over to watch part of it-so awkward. He left for his job at Pagliacci's and I went back to focusing on myself.

How mad I was at the amount of money I spent out last night. That I binged when I got home. That I was drinking again when just a quarter ago I was swearing the stuff off. I tried to act engaged while at the bar-trying to pretend I didn't have this nagging anxiety in the back of my mind that I couldn't yet force off because my buzz hadn't kicked in.

I felt alone and lost. And had no hope. Just that I was kind of going through the motions and I didn't give a fuck what I did to myself next. I had hit a pretty low bottom. I couldn't stop drinking. I couldn't stop seeking male attention. I couldn't stop going to the gym. I couldn't stop eating. I couldn't not do anything in excess. And I couldn't stop hating myself. Treatment was on the horizon and I really was regretting not being skinnier before I went in.

As you can tell my priorities were fucked. I was fucked.

During the third quarter I get a text from a number I don't recognize. It says "Hi bella."

Uh. What? I show my friend and we laugh. Who says that?

I text them back something like "Who is this?"

They tell me their name and I still do not have any idea who it is, but I'm having  a sinking feeling in my stomach it's someone I made a total ass out of myself in front of.

And well. I was right.

Not remembering a guy with his name I ended up having the mysterious texter send a picture of himself to me. It was this awkward photo taken as though he just held the phone in his lap and looked down into the camera. All I could see was a beard.

"OH MY GOD-Him." I was brought back to a very dimly lit Cha Cha (the name of the bar) and my hands grabbing the face of a stranger to make fun of his beard. And then leaving. And that was it.

We go on texting a bit and I see something is off.

His English is weird but for some reason he's INSANELY polite. How am I? Did I have fun last night? What am I doing?

I give into my obsession with the movies about love being true and that the one could be anyone at any time so I give him a go.

We talk every day for a little bit. He always says good morning and he always calls me Bella.

The night before our first "date" he sent me a link of his old screamo rock band. I remember being like "is this dude for real?" So weird.

The next night we went to Unicorn, I wanted to be all bad ass and go to a cool bar. He comes up to the hill on his motorcycle (cool points) and shows up in an Abercrombie sweatshirt (lost cool points). I make fun of it. He doesn't understand me and then tells me his parents got it for him.

We walk to The Unicorn and he has to repeat himself every couple of sentences. I find out he's from Madrid and his English needs work. So naturally it was a wonderful idea to take him to a loud dark bar so I can't see his expressions or even try to read his lips while he's barely audible over the music.

I ask him about how we met, since I cannot remember. He proceeds to tell me that I grabbed his butt and then made fun of his beard. He asked for my number because he "I don't know I was just really drunk" and I ran away into the night after that.

CHARMING.

After a drink or two (me with the two him with the half a beer) we walk home. He goes to kiss me. And I'm all like uh no. I am not that person when I'm sober. (I realize now he was just doing the kiss cheek thing all of those fancy Spaniards do). I leave feeling offended he tried to pull a move.

The next morning I wake up to a "Happy Friday!" text. Giving me a weather report about how it's supposed to rain. And he hopes I have a nice day.

And I've pretty much gotten a text like that from him every day since.

Since ChaCha has come into my life I have learned to take things day to day. I have found out that someone will like me for being me, the good and the bad. I found that ED and alcoholism doesn't mean I can't have a healthy relationship. I found out that he cannot say "Tupperware or giraffe" very well. I learned more about the Spanish culture and that there are a ton of them in Belltown. I have found that I call him just to hear his voice. I have memorized what his hand feels like in mine. I can tell when he's had a bad day at work or what joke will make him laugh. I have also learned to stress less and "be more positive" (I can hear him saying that in my head).

I don't think I can properly grasp how much my man means to me in a blog post especially when I'm too lazy to reread it. But ever since I grabbed his ass in that bar I have been a much happier me and I'm so thankful for that.

...
So he just calls me and asks what I'm doing. I tell him I'm blogging. I ask him if he knows what it's about and in the girliest more sarcastic voice he goes "about our one year meeting-ohhhh aww so sweet." What an ass! He's totally right. That's exactly what I'm writing about and he's 'making fun' of it. So I shoot back "Oh fuck you. I'm writing about cats you jerk."

Ah true love.

That Moment When:

Just randomly wrote these down as they came to me.

Add your own or enjoy.

Or shit. Go crazy. Do both.

That moment when:

• You realize you've been rubbing your eyes but still have mascara on.

• You find out your underwear is inside out.

• In the bathroom you go to race out without washing your hands because you're late. But then you realize your co-worker is in there too and looking at you so you try to act like you weren't just about to do what they think you were going to do.

• You realize you've left your spotify on an embarrassing playlist for an hour.

• You realize you forgot to say "just kidding" when sending a sarcastic / mean text.

• You try avoiding a person you assume is homeless that's talking to you and all they wanted were directions.

• At 12:30 at night when you realize you should have ordered decaf earlier.

• You realize you replied all to a department wide email when you just wanted to reply.

• You realize you're not the only one in the bathroom.

• You see an old acquaintance.

• You see an old acquaintance and haven't showered in a while.

• You see an old acquaintance and say goodbye and walk in the same direction as them.

• In the grocery store you see an old acquittance , say goodbye and see them in the next aisle...then deli section and then in the checkout line.

• You think it's almost time for lunch and you realize it's only been an hour since breakfast.

• You're shopping and you notice the girl next to you has the same clothes picked out.

• You send a ;-) when you definitely meant a :-)

• You find out your water bottle isn't open - by dumping it on yourself

Dear Self, It's Hungover You

PS Next time I won't film myself sideways...promise.

Dear Self,

Hi you charming, beautiful, sassy, smart girl you. This is hungover Kris. Hung over Kris is no fun. She doesn't like life. Currently, she has a head ache and can’t put words together very well. She resents herself for drinking too much last night. She scoffs at the fact that you tried once again to only have a couple, to cheat the system, to drink in moderation. She wishes you could remember the remorse you have in the morning, the anxiety about the decisions you made, the things you ate, the  people you contacted, the dance moves you thought you could pull off and the fact that you give your phone number to everyone who asks for it and well those who don't. 

She usually feels like she wants to throw up but there’s nothing in her system. She wants to eat everything and nothing at the same time. She worries about what she did the night before and has to play detective when she wakes up at about 6 AM when the drunkness wears off. 

Typically it's a frantic search for the phone which is usually underneath her pillow or in her clutch still. This leads her to wonder where her license is and then upon hopefully finding said license find her credit card. Which then leads to her remembering the drinks she bought and how fucking nice she is when drunk. DRINKS ON ME! Seems to be a very fun thing to say to Drunk Kris.

She goes to pee and sees her make up is still on and washes her face, tripping over her heels that for some reason look like they were litterally kicked off in a fit of joy about her room. Oh and her clothes too. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET NAKED WHEN YOU SLEEP DRUNK? (Mind you I always go home alone thank you.)

She tries sleeping the head ache off but can't. So she picks up your room but can’t do that efficiently since focusing is hard. Nothing makes her feel better. She regrets the calories in the drinks and the food she binged off of. Sometimes she has a blast, or at least thinks she did because after the second shot she can’t remember. 

Stay away from liquor. Beer is the way to go if you think that you simply will die without alcohol and chances are you won’t do that that, rather this stuff will slowly kill you. Ok that's dramatic but we are angry with you.

Hung over Kris also hates cleaning up the mess in the kitchen that Drunk Kris made. She wonders where the bruises came from. She wonders how she got home. She wonders why she didn’t stop. So please, take all of this into consideration when you think you want to drink. Hung Over Kris really isn’t very fun and we don’t want her coming around anymore.

Thanks,

Your Funny Sunny Self

Finding Faith

Here's a rose. Because I'm obsessed. And I like when I post this on Facebook and a picture goes with it. That's all.

My last post, which you should have read...because...well...I'm awesome...talked about that I'm not sure where my faith stands. I found out that I wasn't as secure in my beliefs as I thought I should be. Turns out it's difficult to put your all into something you can't see. But I guess that's like with anything.

You put your faith into a relationship that just starts because you believe there's a spark there, there's something special that's worth your time and effort and trust even if it's just starting out. You don't know how it will turn out, you can't know until you get there.

You put your faith in work, in your goals and dreams. You can't see the end result or how your efforts will prevail, what the long hours will end up getting you, but you keep on working because you believe it'll get you somewhere.


Even with the gym haha I keep switching from you / I. I guess in the above I mean I when I say you, but I'm too lazy to change it. HA. I go to the gym in hopes that each set I do and mile I run will produce a hot bod, even if I can't see the results now.

Now this isn't very Godly or spiritual but eh. . . this is swhat goes on in my head. Lucky you getting to read it haha HANYVAY...

I was journaling yesterday and realized faith isn't as easy as just going "Welp, God loves me. Cool." No no no. You've got to work at it. You have to pray for him to show you the way. You have to be willing to see how he's working in your life and count your blessings. AND you have to do his will NOT yours. Oye I really suck at that.

Sin. Little lesson for ya, sin is spelled with an I in the middle, aka you do what YOU want when you sin. It's self will not his will. Sin brings you further away from God and that's why life can feel crummy sometimes.

But because I was willing and prayed and acted on what little faith I have, he showed me the above. He speaks in many ways. And yesterday he came through me into my writing. Also, he came through in a Facebook message. OH Facebook.

A friend who is an avid reader, I made that up, I just wanted to sound cool, but she has at least read two of my posts and I thank her for that! Anyway, she reminded me that I'm not the only one confused. OH YA I'm not the only person with problems. I forget that you people are out there too and you don't have perfect lives. :) But she reminded me to keep at it and to keep at it honestly. He already knows everything we do say think the good and the bad so it's silly hiding from him, thinking he doesn't know what's up. Like Santa. haha Gosh I love Christmas.

ANYWAY...Long story short. God is here in my life, he always has been and he has a plan for me that he's revealing when I'm read for it. Even when I think I'm not. Even when I think he's stopped listening he's there.

I'm feeling so blessed. And I hope that this post reminds you that everyone's confused everyone's a little lost but you're never alone.

<3

"Learning is a life long process. You are never too old to learn."

"Learning is a life long process. You are never too old to learn."


I don't know who said that, but I googled learning quotes and baddabingbaddaboom. Zer you go.


Once out of school the tests are over, the studying ceases and never again will you have to have the agonizing choice of "is it C or D? Damn. C. It's always C."


HA ya right. I learn all the time. School was just helping you get ready for the rest of your life. 


I hope everyone can tell when I'm being sarcastic by now. If not I AM BEING SARCASTIC RIGHT NOW. 


To prove my point, that even though I am no longer in school, I am still a bright bulb, here is what I learned in my short jaunt to work this morning.

1. Put deoterant on AFTER you put on a dark shirt.
2. Always bring an umbrella. NO MATTER IF IT'S SUNNY. You live in Seattle. It WILL rain on you.
3. "Slippery when wet," is a real warning, not just a funny sexual inudeno.
1. No, really, the ground is slippery when wet, you need to not run down wet hills.
1. YOU WILL FALL.
4. When you have headphones on no one can hear the music you are dancing to, instead you just look like you have to pee.
5. Make sure your button-up shirt is buttoned ENTIRELY before leaving the house. This will save the nice, elderly woman from having to tell you she can see your bra--and so can the rest of the bus.
6. I need to always make sure my shoes have some sort of traction on the bottoms.
1. YOU WILL FALL otherwise.
7. If the shoes hurt your feet when you put them on, they will keep hurting, so don't buy them.
1. I DON'T CARE HOW CUTE THEY ARE.
8. No matter how much I work out, after two flights of stairs I will always be breathless.
9. Make sure your backpack is zipped up before leaving the house, not when you see your lunch rolling in front of you.
10. You have a lot to learn Kristin.

:)

Fuck You Fries

I couldn't stop staring at this. Anyone realize what's wrong here? Anyone?

If you said: The fries have barely been touched. 

YOU ARE CORRECT!

Those fries belonged to my brother, Steven.

Dad, Steven and I were at Blue Moon Burger for Fathers' Day.

I hadn't seen either one of them in way too long.

And here I sit staring at fried potatoes.

I had to consciously drag my mind away from how much I wanted to eat those fries, and my bewilderment as to why Steven hadn't devoured them yet.

The kid couldn't stop talking about the amazing work he'd just finished doing at Whipple Observatory in Arizona with a professor. His burger sat, with a perfect bite taken out of it, lonely, unnoticed as all of his attention went to trying to explain to me different physics terms, facts, theories and other super intelligent thingys.

Poor burger. If I wouldn't throw you up and hate myself for eating your delicious, fattening, greasy goodness I'd have never let you sit there for so long.

The third time I had to say "Wait. What?" to Steven I realized just how much attention I was giving his food, that I was so inside my own head and my obsession and my twisted thinking that I was ignoring my little brother talking about one of the coolest experiences he's ever had. That's fucking stupid that I do that. And yet I do. That burger and fries was like an open bar to an alcoholic. Or dangling drugs in front of an addict.

I had to laugh at myself though. Realizing that this really is a disease, a physical, mental and emotional disease. Which led me to realize how different I am. And not just because of my disease but just how different of a person I am from my brother.

And at first I was ashamed.

(please keep in mind my wheels are turning and working this through as I try to understand spectro-something theories and hold conversations with my family haha)

Steven talked so passionately, excitedly about his work at the observatory. He showed me pictures to point out what he was talking about. He cared whether or not I got what he was talking about. It made me admire him even more than I already do.

So then my mind wandered to: What have I done lately? Oh ya I wrote about tie-dye tutu tee shirts. And my new zit cream is so not working, but at least my eyelashes look pretty today. And I um get my hair done on Monday. COOL LIFE.

I made the comment that I was too stupid to get what was being talked about. And as soon as the words left my lips something inside me said "no you're not." And the fact that, on my own that came up as a red flag is huge improvement. That instead of continuing to put myself down I stood up for me (it's  fun fighting with yourself).

Then, by the grace of God, I began to embrace and make fun of the differences between myself and my brother.

The burgers and fries were their splurge. Mine was having ketchup and a couple fries. And Parmesan cheese on my chicken.

And that's ok. Because that's who I am. That's where I am at in life.

It's ok that when Steven said helium I immediately thought of sucking the air out of balloons and talking in funny voices rather than it as an element.

That when I heard the words "Super Nova" I didn't think of an exploding star but rather Zenon Girl of the 21st Century.

And it's even kind of cool that I started jotting down notes in my phone so I could remember what I wanted to blog about later.

Because while I am not a scientist, I am a writer.

There are a lot of things I'm not, but that makes me who I am. And I'm learning to stop fighting that and embracing it. So kids, and you should try this too, here are five things I really like about myself.

1. I like my witty sarcasm
2. I like the shape of my lips
3. I like that I will dance at any time and anywhere 
4. I like that I wear a ring on each finger
5. I like that I have a blog (and if I may add to that-I like that you're reading it)

Now those are not that exciting, cool and really quite random but they help make me who I am. And who I am is slowly becoming ok and I'm slowly becoming ok with who I am.

For your viewing pleasure:

Well That Was Awkward II

Round two for randomisms...Story of my life moments. These are thoughts that have popped into my head and then I've written down. Some are meant to be funny others are ones you may relate to…
"I should write down the ridiculousness that is my life."

"Open spaces make me want to do cartwheels."

(Looking in mirror after finishing my makeup)"Ok I look pretty good today" (Turn around in mirror) "Oh balls—how long has that been tucked up like that?"

"I wonder if Mama Mia will make sense if I fast forward through the singing parts…"

"I like my big headphones because they are like earmuffs."

"Guys that use umbrellas are adorable."

"Cars that are covered in rain look cooler than ones that aren’t."

"I love watching people run when it's not for sport." (Especially if it's after a bus or person) "Crap. Karma will get me for this."

"Oh they're 22 that's my age…OMG no wait—I'm 24 now."

"This headband looks like I'm showing off my roots, my real hair color on one side and my bleached blonde on the other--Man I need to get my hair done."

"Spilled water looks really good on my pants." (No—not really)

 "I wonder if what I just said was mean? (pause) Oh yup she's glaring. Yup that was mean."

 I cried after a taxi driver asked me if I was on drugs and to make up my fucking mind. I made up my mind and got out of the cab right there...then called my mom.


Random thoughts that actually go through my head be impressed … or feel much better about what's going through yours.

Seriously contemplated licking the maple and brown sugar oatmeal packet. Converstaion with coworker—her: "I just had a fat kid moment." Me (blurting out): "I did this morning I totally drank the rest of the chocolate milk." Her: "I was going to drink that chocolate milk." Me: "Oh."

 It's hard to hear your phone ringing when you're blasting your ring tone from your computer.

 I like to pretend I'm making a music video when I have my headphones on.

 7 am getting off the bus in SoDo my headphone cord got caught on a seat. I got yanked back to come face to face with the oldest Asian woman I've ever seen who gave me a toothless grin and removed me from the chair's handle.

 I pulled out my phone to "like" the song I was listening to — on my phone — that's on a playlist — that I downloaded : YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

 I like it when people say that flowers remind them of me. And also public transportation.

 I thought my gauges looked really cool until my headphone cord got caught in them and I yelped in pain on the lightrail. The very quiet FULL light rail. — even better asking my neighbor to help me get unstuck — I've never been so close to a 32 year old Hispanic man. And never will be again. 

Kris

Well...That Was Awkward.

A day in the life of me.

So as long as I'm being honest, I thought I'd show you a glimpse into what my daily life looks like. No worries I won't tell you like when I wake up or what I eat for lunch (5:52 am turkey and cheese sammy) but I mean like the ridiculous shit I do.

I have the most fun sharing random stories like these with my best friends, makes me feel more normal and laughing at their expense is awesome.

So in hopes to entertain you, make you feel less lame (not that you are lame…shoot this may confirm that I am as odd as I thought I was) here are random things that happened to me yesterday (that yes, I kept track of).

What inspired this was the fact that I took a bite of a scrumptious apple and drooled all over my front, of course someone from tech walked by as I make a huge slurping noise…

Then I continued to eat my juicy apple and realized I attempted to eat the sticker because I practically choked on it.

On my way to the bathroom later I just forgot how doors worked and didn't fully open it before attempting to go through it.

When in the bathroom I couldn't get the stupid toilet set covers out so I ended up with like 15 and couldn't figure out what to do with them all so I attempted to put them back in unsuccessfully. I ended up hanging them on the door in hopes someone else would use them.

Another time in the bathroom again, I was so out of it I washed my hands then hit the soap dispenser instead of going for the paper towels. Luckily the other girl in there found this as hilarious as I did.

At my desk I snorted loudly when seeing this image for a sale I was writing.



It's currently my background.

An attractive male coworker told me my voice made me sound like a tranny.

When going down the stairs to head out on my walk I was dancing / rapping to Missy Elliott's 1 2 Step. Didn't know I had an audience until I was face to face with two people coming back from lunch and awkwardly made my quiet singing into a loud cough.

On my walk to my bus my umbrella wouldn't close and I found myself talking to it…ok well yelling at it to "fucking shut you stupid piece of shit" as I walked passed a homeless man…also angry at the world.

I got honked at by a bus when on the corner of the street because I guess he thought I was trying to run out in front of it? The homeless man next to me politely said "Don't worry you'd still be pretty if you got hit by a bus." WHY THANK YOU.

And to end my night I was at Fred Meyer, until closing. I was the last maniac running around the aisles trying to find puff paint. I was joined by a very elderly man in the check out line griping about how much his pumpkin pie cost.

Welcome to my life.

Can't Help But Smile

It is disGUSTing (get it?gust ... Wind? Eh?) Outside. Simply miserable...like my hair right now.

(I was writing this on my phone but only just uploaded it um well meow)

I'm on the silent, pleasant, slightly muggy bus that takes me to and from work everyday.

I live for this bus. If this bus was a dude I'd be a stage 5 clinger. I need to know where it is at all times, I literally chase it and man do I ride it hard. Ha. Had to. My apologies.

Anyway, even though it is much less than pleasurable outside I have a warm heart.

Aw.

Funny things happened today. Things that were silly and simple and splendid...simply splendid surprises. Sorry. That's the copy writer in me.

First thing was when my umbrella blew inside out, 5 times, as I walked to work. I couldn't stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. My socks had fallen inside my boots, my hair clung to my face and my hood blew off. I felt comical.

Second thing that made my heart jump and brought a stupid grin to my face was when I was on my walk. I do a lap to Safeco daily.

So some tall dark and handsome thing came out of the parking garage. I was all in the zone listening to Calvin Harris when we caught eyes. I got embarrassed like I was awkward and in 7th grade again (now I'm just awkward). But something in me made me look back up and smile catch his green eyes for a lingering moment, quick enough to bite my lip a bit (nervous habit) and walk on. That gave me a surge of confidence. Whether I looked like an idiot or not I dont care because Id like to stay ignorant and think I was a touch sexy.

Last but not least was just a bit ago I was waiting for my bus out of the rain in the entrance of a parking garage. The entire entry way is glass, I like it bc then I can see my bus coming. I was stretching out my hamstrings in a lunge when I was reminded how glass works. You can see through it...meaning I can see out and people can see in. I had forgotten the second part and this guy, pretty cute I might add, imitated my lunge. It took me a second to figure out wtf he was doing but when I did I stood straight up and glared. Then dropped my scowl into a smile. I mean it really was funny. He walked off looking back waving as we both cracked up.

Completely stupid small things bright light to my day. I'm glad to say I can recognize those things now. I can appreciate those things now. And I ask you...what made your day today?

There was so much cheese in that question you could make a mean quesadilla.

BTW All these pictures were taken on my way to or from work. You just have to stop and look for the beauty in things. It's not hard if your heart and mind are open.

<3 Kris.

Tasty Chicken with Some Tomatoes and Oregano Salsa

Hey want to learn how to make this?


Yes. Ok. I lied. There is NO FRESH basil. 2 cloves of chopped garlic. OR Rosemary in sight. If you caught that good for you ... if not you're going to be fine because I will point out all my short comings in the EZ as pie (easy as eating pie not making it) recipe.

So I didn't have all the ingredients and as I was too lazy to go to the store I just added more oregano. Problem solved.



Those ingredients look like this ...



Yes. Ok. I lied. There is NO FRESH basil. 2 cloves of chopped garlic. OR Rosemary in sight. If you caught that good for you ... if not you're going to be fine because I will point out all my short comings in the EZ as pie (easy as eating pie not making it) recipe.

So I didn't have all the ingredients and as I was too lazy to go to the store I just added more oregano. Problem solved.

Here's what you'll need for the salsa.



Again I come up short. But I'm normal. I swear not everyone would want to cut up a pound of fresh tomatoes or even HAVE that many toms on hand. Come on now.

-So I used a can and a half of diced tomatoes...I reccomend draining them before hand...you'll see pictures as to why later. WAHWAHHHH.

-No shallot at all. (But if you're wondering WHAT a shallot even is ... like I myself was ... it's "A member of the onion family, but formed more like garlic than onions. Shallots are favored for their mild onion flavor, and can be used in the same manner as onions. A shallot looks like a small, elongated onion with a copper, reddish, or gray skin. When peeled, shallots separate into into cloves like garlic." Thank you kitchen Dictionary.

-I am anti jal op en os so I didn't use those guys. I'm hot enough on my own. BAhahaha

Other than that everything followed the recipe.

SWEET.

1. Put the first 8 ingredients in a plastic bag.
2. Add chicken and let those puppies (ewe um change that ... let the meat) marinate at least 30 minutes. (I did an entire day! Because I forgot I said I'd make dinner. HA whoops)

Onto the SALSA part of Grilled Chicken with Roasted Tomato and oregano Salsa
4. Heat oven to 400°F.
5. Cover a baking tray with foil.
6. Here's the instructions again just in case...


6. Spread tomatoes on tray; drizzle with oil. Add salt and pepper. Bake until lightly browned, 20 to 25 minutes.


This is why I said you should drain the tomatoes. And also why I wish I HAD drained the tomatoes. That's what I get for not chopping up a pound of these suckers myself.

7. Combine tomatoes, onion, garlic and oregano in a bowl.
8. Coat a large skillet with cooking spray.
9. Heat over medium-high heat.
10. Remove chicken from marinade; cook 5 minutes.


11. Reduce heat to medium-low, flip chicken and add leftover marinade to pan. Cook 5 minutes.
12. Reduce heat to low. Cover chicken; cook 10 minutes.
13. Divide among 4 plates; top each with 1/4 of the salsa. Serve immediately.

OR ELSE YOUR PARENTS WILL TAKE THE GOOD STUFF FIRST!



Just kidding. I like having my guests go first. I think it's like proper too or something.

I added couscous to this too and that is the easiest stuff to make if you do the box kind.
YAY EASY!



This is a very simple, easy (did I say easy?), tasty recipe...I really recommend you try it!

Maybe make it for your dad on Fathers' Day?

Hope your weekend was splendid <3 KRIS.

Grilled Chicken with Roasted Tomato and Oregano Salsa

Hey want to learn how to make this?


Yes. Ok. I lied. There is NO FRESH basil. 2 cloves of chopped garlic. OR Rosemary in sight. If you caught that good for you ... if not you're going to be fine because I will point out all my short comings in the EZ as pie (easy as eating pie not making it) recipe.

So I didn't have all the ingredients and as I was too lazy to go to the store I just added more oregano. Problem solved.



Those ingredients look like this ...



Yes. Ok. I lied. There is NO FRESH basil. 2 cloves of chopped garlic. OR Rosemary in sight. If you caught that good for you ... if not you're going to be fine because I will point out all my short comings in the EZ as pie (easy as eating pie not making it) recipe.

So I didn't have all the ingredients and as I was too lazy to go to the store I just added more oregano. Problem solved.

Here's what you'll need for the salsa.



Again I come up short. But I'm normal. I swear not everyone would want to cut up a pound of fresh tomatoes or even HAVE that many toms on hand. Come on now.

-So I used a can and a half of diced tomatoes...I reccomend draining them before hand...you'll see pictures as to why later. WAHWAHHHH.

-No shallot at all. (But if you're wondering WHAT a shallot even is ... like I myself was ... it's "A member of the onion family, but formed more like garlic than onions. Shallots are favored for their mild onion flavor, and can be used in the same manner as onions. A shallot looks like a small, elongated onion with a copper, reddish, or gray skin. When peeled, shallots separate into into cloves like garlic." Thank you kitchen Dictionary.

-I am anti jal op en os so I didn't use those guys. I'm hot enough on my own. BAhahaha

Other than that everything followed the recipe.

SWEET.

1. Put the first 8 ingredients in a plastic bag.
2. Add chicken and let those puppies (ewe um change that ... let the meat) marinate at least 30 minutes. (I did an entire day! Because I forgot I said I'd make dinner. HA whoops)

Onto the SALSA part of Grilled Chicken with Roasted Tomato and oregano Salsa
4. Heat oven to 400°F.
5. Cover a baking tray with foil.
6. Here's the instructions again just in case...


6. Spread tomatoes on tray; drizzle with oil. Add salt and pepper. Bake until lightly browned, 20 to 25 minutes.


This is why I said you should drain the tomatoes. And also why I wish I HAD drained the tomatoes. That's what I get for not chopping up a pound of these suckers myself.

7. Combine tomatoes, onion, garlic and oregano in a bowl.
8. Coat a large skillet with cooking spray.
9. Heat over medium-high heat.
10. Remove chicken from marinade; cook 5 minutes.


11. Reduce heat to medium-low, flip chicken and add leftover marinade to pan. Cook 5 minutes.
12. Reduce heat to low. Cover chicken; cook 10 minutes.
13. Divide among 4 plates; top each with 1/4 of the salsa. Serve immediately.

OR ELSE YOUR PARENTS WILL TAKE THE GOOD STUFF FIRST!



Just kidding. I like having my guests go first. I think it's like proper too or something.

I added couscous to this too and that is the easiest stuff to make if you do the box kind.
YAY EASY!



This is a very simple, easy (did I say easy?), tasty recipe...I really recommend you try it!

Maybe make it for your dad on Fathers' Day?

Hope your weekend was splendid <3 KRIS.